"Do you think I don’t wanna smash things? I know what that anger is more than you can imagine. [..] When he was on top of me I pressed my hand - with everything I could, I pressed it into his face. I pressed it so hard I broke his nose. That didn’t stop him. He shoved the sheets in my mouth, I could barely breathe. Every time I think of her, pinned down like that, I strangle her, Francis. So she doesn’t strangle me. I have to. We have to. The alternative is… It’s unlivable.